THE DEVIL I KNEW

PART I — THE MIRROR

Mirror Mirror

Words & Music: Nicole Zuraitis

Mirror mirror on the wall 

Tell me, am I saint or sin? 

Do I stumble, do I stall

When temptation pulls me in? 

Angels wings or serpents tail

Which one suits me best? 

Do I walk along the righteous trail

Or delight in sins confessed? 

Divine or depraved

Half master, half maid

It’s virtue I parade

In this self made masquerade

Mirror mirror 

Don’t be cruel 

Whisper softly as you sting

Am I wise, or just a fool? 

Mistaking crowns for kings 

Mirror, what’s the truth? 

Answer if you dare

For the devil I knew, my dear

Can be found anywhere

[“Unfortunate coincidence”, Written by Dorothy Parker]

By the time you swear you’re theirs,
Shivering and sighing,
And they vow their passion is
Infinite, undying—
Friend, make a note of this:
One of you is lying….

Won’t Make It Out Alive

Words & Music: Nicole Zuraitis

A flicker of danger, 

With a gleam behind those eyes

Familiar stranger 

Known him since I first learned to lie 

Feels like a freight train tearing up and down my spine

I’m barely breathing 

Step by step, we’re out of time

But if he keeps on coming, 

I won’t make it out alive 

A voice like velvet

Laced with smoke, whiskey, and cash

A laugh like thunder

And a big temper to match

One foot on the bedpost

And the other’s out the door

Sirens sing warning

Babe keep your ear to the floor 

But if he keeps on coming 

I won’t hold back anymore 

Oh, and now we’re keeping score

Well, a deck of cards I’m dying to play

not the gambling type, but I’ll risk it today 

I’ll give you my spade — if you deal me your ace

The dealers laughing, 

Cuz he knows that I’m all in 

I’ve thrown a wild card just to match his crooked grin

We’re a storm rolling in on restless tides

A sailors warning, this will be tough to survive 

Yet, he keeps on coming

Yes, he keeps on coming

And I’m down to take the ride

I won’t make it out alive 

I Dare You (Call My Name)

Words & Music: Nicole Zuraitis

Can we dream for a minute? 

I don’t know what you’ve done, but you did it 

Time is flying and we’re well within it

I don’t know when you aimed, but you hit it. 

I’m still humming

You’re really something 

Don’t you lie and say it’s nothing 

Don’t know you when you found the time but you built this and I’m living in it 

This fire comes once a lifetime 

So I dare you to feed the flame

Dare you to stake your claim

On my heart

Cuz it ain’t easy; love and war 

When we’ve both been here before 

But I’m yours

If you call my name. 

Tell me to jump and I’ll leap it 

Beg me to steal and I’ll thieve it 

I don’t know where we’re going, but I’ll map it out if you ask me out because I feel this   

Loving you is like loving the moon 

A photo can’t capture the heart space you rule 

Maybe we’re been headed in the wrong direction 

As I’ve mentioned 

I’m on this train with you 

So I dare you to feed the flame 

Dare you to stake your claim on my heart

Cuz it ain’t easy love and war

When we’ve both been here before 

But I’m yours if you call my name

Call it.   Call it. 

I’m on this train too 

So I dare you to feed the flame 

Dare you to stake your claim on my heart

Cuz it ain’t easy love and war

And we’ve been through every storm 

And I’m yours if you call my name

He’s a Demon, He’s a Devil, He’s a Doll

Lyrics: Nicole Zuraitis & Don Reye

Music: Harold Spina

Everyone tells me he's no good

He doesn't love me like he should

I would forget him if I only could

He's a demon, he's a devil, he's a doll

That man can look me in the eye

And tell the biggest, sweetest lie

And I forget that lipstick on his tie

He's a demon, he's a devil, he's a doll

Sometimes I swear its the end

and I won’t be fooled again

And that I’ll finally tell him off real bad

But then he flashes that grin

And reels me back in

And I forget why I’m mad

I ought to tell him "drop dead!"

But I keep loving him instead

My momma must have dropped me on my head

He’s a darling, he’s a dreamboat, he’s a dog.

Sometimes he sins and sanctifies

Then shows up late with alibis 

I still fall for those eyes

He’s a darling, he’s a dreamboat, he’s a dog!

I had the measles at two, the chicken pox and the flu

And boy the whooping cough was grim

I had the itches and mumps, and poison ivy in clumps

To top it off I’m stuck with him!

He's a palooka, a brute

He’s crazy and he's cute

Why do I love a man I ought to shoot

He's a demon, he's a devil, he is a dog.  

He’s a demon. He’s a devil. He’s a dog. 

PART II — THE MARTYR

“THE MERMAID” by JOHANNA TELANDER

I always knew I loved you more,

Endlessly—

To abandon.

Deeper than the ocean,

While you stayed close to shore.

You waded, ankle-deep,

While I dove headfirst—

in a reckless sweep 

In waters uncharted

I placed my hope,

Draped around your anchor,

Like Untested, (naive) rope.  

I learned to breathe

In turbulent currents,

For you I stayed serene—

Your gilded mer-queen

A saint must be a martyr first.

And I drowned—

So willingly.

Sinking like pearled beads

In hidden, salted tears.

When winter came,

Swiftly, unanswered 

You took your care away.

I joined the wreckage—

Another myth,

Another lost fleet,

A shadow

A fable 

Once formidable,

Now only proof

I disappeared

And (oh), how willingly.

Be careful what you wish for. 

Two Steps Back (The Overlap)

Words & Music: Nicole Zuraitis

I can’t walk down 52nd Street

Or park on 11th Avenue

All I see is us in cars

Smoking cigars 

Wishing the world could know what only we knew …

Do you miss me too?

I can’t stumble through the Village 

Or get coffee on the Upper West 

And If I drink my favorite martini 

I’m flooded with the memory of secrets we kept …

Do you miss me yet?

It’s the overlap 

Try to move forward, slipping two steps back  

Time cannot rewind the past 

So there’s overlap 

Between what we built and what’s collapsed

The overlap.

I can’t step in hotel bars

Or track faces in a carnival of crowds

And when the leaves begin to grow in spring 

I feel the sting, I’m struggling 

To accept why, and how. 

Do you miss me now? 

It’s the overlap 

Try to move forward, slipping two steps back  

Time cannot rewind the past 

So there’s overlap 

Between what we built and what’s collapsed

Oh which way is up

When we’re all just lost in the end?

We were so innocent

Did you miss me then? 

In the days of before  

When we were much more than pretend 

Did you miss me then?

It’s the overlap.

Time cannot rewind the past 

So there’s overlap 

Between what we built and what’s collapsed

The overlap.

Wish I Could Love You

Words & Music: Nicole Zuraitis, Justine Blazer, Nancy Deckant, Cory Lee Barker, Donna Burk

There’s no easy way 

To say this to you 

Somehow the wires got crossed

And now you feel confused

There’s nothing that you did 

Nothing that you didn't do                      

But my heart won’t let me rest

Til yours knows the truth

I wish I could love you

Wish I could feel the same

Cause the last thing that I wanna do is keep causing you pain

I wish I could love you

WIsh I could let you in

Oh I hate that I feel what I feel but I just can’t pretend

I wish I could love you

There’s somebody searching 

For someone like you 

And I know the hardest part 

Is all that we could lose

Oh I wish I could love you

I wish I could feel the same

Cause the last thing that I wanna do is keep causing you pain

I wish I could love you

I wIsh I could let you in

Oh I hate that I feel what I feel but I just can’t pretend

Oh I wish I could love you

It’s nothing that you did

Nothing that you didn’t do

But My heart won’t let me rest

Til yours knows the truth

I wish I could love you

Wish I could feel the same

Cause the last thing that I wanna do is keep causing you pain

Oh I wish that I could love you

I wish I could let you in

Oh I hate that I feel what I feel but I just can’t pretend

I wish I could love you

A Kiss Is Never a Mistake

Words & Music: Nicole Zuraitis

A rose that’s arching homeward

As we lean in too close…

Where mystery meets reverie…

And every dreamer knows

That dawn it breaks, comes crashing in 

And there alone, awake

I’m missing the dark mischiefness of our imagined fates

Until then I’ll see you in my dreams

For there a kiss is never a mistake.

Lift coffee to my lips that yesterday lifted to you

Echoed words ring deafening as I take in morning’s view

Deny, deny through bleary eyes

Unraveled, unmanaged, unkempt

My heart’s not only broken, it’s bent. 

Until then I’ll see you in my dreams 

For there a kiss is never a mistake.